The death of a dream.

Friday, Jan. 30, 2004 - 11:30 p.m.

Today is Friday, January 30. It�s been over a month since the Dream Job closed.

Another dream is officially dead.

I don�t know why I expected things to be any different this time.

I am one who has always been a strong believer in, �God always answers prayers. Sometimes the answer is no.� But I can�t help but compare it to a parent telling a child no. They keep asking, the parent keeps saying no. Isn�t the parent�s goal for the child to eventually give up and stop asking?

I�ve been told no so many times, sometimes I wonder what the point is in asking any longer.

I did not ask to get the job. All I asked for was an interview! Just a chance for my work to stand on its own merits. I guess even that was too much to ask for.

I didn�t job hunt today�I didn�t have the heart�but I will dive into it Monday. I suppose it doesn�t really matter what I end up with. Dream Jobs are yet another thing that are apparently for other people. I suppose I�ll never find out what it�s like to have a job I really love.

The higher they fly, the farther they fall. When will I ever grow up and learn to stop dreaming?

I slept off a migraine all morning and spent the rest of the day working on my book website. (Target date to start adding names is February 1st, Sunday. I will try to follow up this depressing entry with a nice invitation to join the 100 Books Club.) There won�t be much yet on my personal pages, but the 100 Books page will be ready to go. So far I have a whopping five people including myself who have expressed interest.

I really don�t have much to say today, and the evening coughing and chills are kicking in full force. I�m going to go drown my sorrows in a book. Happy Friday night, everybody!